Ooooh, been slacking with this.... what have I been up to..... mostly work, work, work. Just cast another batch of moulds, which are drying, but I'll pop them on the back of one of the furnaces tomorrow for speed, so HOPEFULLY will get another firing in on Friday ready for Sunday. Getting a fair bit of stock together now. Feeling a bit skint at the moment, this month has been hell for spending, so hopefully I should be getting a nice big fat cheque from my boss for my jewellery which I've sold lately, or he's going to find himself hit with my next invoice, which is for nearly double!! Hoping to get enough together to send out to prospective buyers before Christmas.
Had a much needed couple of days away from home, just had to have a change of scenery before I completely lost the plot.... It was good, and I felt inspired looking at various jewellery in shop windows.
I'm in a pretty good place at the moment, I think. Things at home are good, touch wood, workwise it's great.... Still feel like there's something niggling though at the back of my mind, and I think it's my desire to move away but I know I'm tied here for a while which is so frustrating. I keep tormenting myself with all the Cornish websites and property pages. Just want to time travel a few years into the future to my little cosy granite cottage, down the Lizard penninsula way looking out towards the lonely silouettes of the old ruined engine houses dotted around, the sea beyond. My solitude. To do as I please..... That is my next dream. I'm already on my way to realising my first dream, my jewellery business actually being successful. I am trying so hard.
Oh, also been looking at courses today. Just want some other qualification. I'm 33 and just don't feel like I've achieved anything much. I think I'm of the mindset at the moment that everything I've ever wanted to do, I'm going to go for it. So I'm looking at silversmithing, and oilpainting restoration courses. Both of which I've always wanted to do. I just need some other focus. Anything to help me achieve my dreams. Now all that's stopping me from disappearing off into the sunset, are my kids. I can't disrupt Sian. Corey wouldn't care, but my daughter is so, so settled here, and I don't know if I could change that yet.
But I am so determined, to the point of being ruthless. I've not even asked anyones advice, not even my parents, because I'm not interested in their opinion. It isn't a case of "Should I," it's more a case of "I am." Sound selfish? Probably. Maybe I am just chasing rainbows, but it's time for me, for a change.