Well...... today.... Started off a bit teary, another sleepless night, but I'm ok now. Just had the insurers round to assess the damage to the TV thanks to Corey. Just have to wait to hear back.

Trying to find the stamina to make some moulds at the moment. Do I need the mess and the aching muscles?? Nah. It can wait 'til later.

Things seem to be picking up for me at the moment. Careerwise anyhow. Gradually building up stock again, put in a new order for supplies, have a photographer lined up.... next plan is to set up my website and get some flyers and cards printed. Then get out there and sell!!!! I am really excited about the future. Keep finding myself looking at property websites for Cornwall. I know it's early days but my dreams will come true one day soon. That, I will make sure of.

Now I can't decide between shopping, or drawing..........

Busy, busy, busy day. Love Sundays in the factory. I have the whole place to myself. All the grinders, polishers, no one getting in my way. So peaceful. Just the sound of blasts of air into the furnaces keeping the place all toasty and warm. Got loads and loads done. Loved it! Love being covered in white pumice powder. The dirtier I get, the more I know I've achieved. I have no nails left, thanks to the flat-bed, or the knuckle on my index finger thanks to a momentary lapse in concentration but I don't care. Wasn't bothered about the blood everywhere from it either. I just end up so focused on what I'm doing I tend to switch off. Managed to prime my kiln too, which I just keep putting off because it was WAY overdue. Priming it isn't the problem, removing all the old primer is horrendous, and a sure fire way of ending up with silicosis in later life if not done properly.
I am so determined at the moment. My jewellery is the most important thing to me now. (Apart from the kids) Damn I want to be rich!! I can do this. I know I can. :)

May aswell fill this in whilst I'm having a good day. Just had a busy morning, moulds, designs, bath, and renewing subscriptions. I have decided to relaunch my company under a new name because so many things have changed for me recently, it just feels right, and I've yet to build up my reputation, still early days, so it's a good time. I'm really excited again now. I've missed the enthusiasm which I always had, and now is back again. The name?? It's a secret for now. ;) All will be revealed as soon as I have built up supplies again. Feeling really positive, but I'm not getting too complacent, as I know I am very irritable at the moment, so can change at a moments notice. However, at the minute....13.06 to be precise, all is good. :)

Hit a real low. I am drifting between feeling ecstatically happy one minute, then severely down the next and it just goes on and on. Just been accused of pushing a very special person away, and I know I don't mean to. I just feel so self-conscious at the moment and I feel as though I would be exposing my negativity which is not something I want to do. I am getting better though, bad days are getting less. I'm just so lucky I have such wonderful support, just hope I can return the favour someday......

Just don't know what I'm doing anymore.... everything is changing so quickly. I'm not the same girl I was a few weeks ago, and I'm concerned.....

Just gettting over the worst couple of weeks of my whole life. I am not exaggerating when I say I've been to hell and back, and most likely where I will end up again. I would not wish what I've been through on anyone, and I can only hope that I can find the strength to get through the coming months. I know I will be fine eventually. Wish I could pour my heart out on here, but I can't. This is just a bit of an outlet for my emotions, so bear with me. Thankfully it has made me realise just who are the important ones in my life, the ones I have felt able to confide in. Even the ones who I can't talk to have been amazingly supportive, even though they have no idea what I've been through lately. I know I haven't been my usual bubbly self, which has caused a lot of speculation, but I'm getting there. I will have good days and bad days for a bit. Days where I want to be left alone, and days when I just want to be held tight and cuddled. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It's just so very hard. Although a good thing is that all this has made me re-evaluate my life, and made me even more determined to succeed at whatever I do. I'm not just going to dream anymore, I am going to make it happen!