Ever have one of those days, where you can singlehandedly destroy everything in a split second? That's every day for me at the moment. I'm in such a destructive mood. Everything that happens is negative. I haven't been sleeping or eating, (lost weight though...:) but everyone is getting it in the neck. Friends, family, workmates. Fed up of hearing that I've changed. I know I have. You think I like it?? I am working so hard to sort myself out, but I think that the way I'm going about it is wrong. I tend to just immerse myself in work, like today. Or go on a spending spree, like yesterday...:-s (waiting for a delivery this morning....) Instead I should be surrounding myself with people who I care for, and who care for me... But I'll be the old bubbly me again. In a few years maybe... ;) But seriously, I'm struggling. I admit that. It's still raw and difficult. No one really understands either. I accept that. I want to just release this pent up emotion which I've been bottling up for so long. I know I'm going to just explode at some point. I can't go on like this for much longer. I think I need to get away by myself for a bit....

Now to take advantage of the silence in this house. Kids back at school and a tonne of work to get through...... No rest for the wicked....